Bigfoot Is Having His Baby!

I don’t remember how we got wind of the story to begin with but I can say that for as long as I can remember it would be brought up at thanksgiving every year and was as reliable of a request as was somebody was sure to ask for either dark or white meat. Every year we would get the same brush off from grandfather. He’d promise us he was going to tell when we got old enough. Well finally, grandfather kept his word.


Keep in mind grandfather had a bit of an Irish accent as he was the first of our family to come to the states. No it wasn’t during the civil war. I’m not even certain it was before the first world war. I’ll have to sit down and do the math one of these days. He isn’t around to tell any more and hasn’t been for quite some time.


This story was told to us men in the family which included both me and my brother, after a thanksgiving dinner one year. Grandfather had a few too many which put him in just the right mood. He said the year was just before they started taking men for the war. To him there was only one war. W.W.Two. This all happened before there was any thought at all towards there being a war that as it turned out ended up taking almost all the men of younger age. Whether Jeb was mentally fit to be allowed to fight after the incident was anybody’s guess as grandfather was not kept updated as to the man’s condition that far down the road.


It was the late summer. Grandfather was working on a telephone line crew that had been hired to clear the way through the trees and brush that make up the Green Mountain National Forest. Which if I recall correct was in Vermont state. Somewhere near there anyhow. The crew worked seven days a week taking no days off. The company didn’t mind paying the big checks because they were on a deadline. That made the job very attractive especially to men who were unattached since they had nobody to leave behind.


He said they had one guy on his crew who was unbelievably good-looking. Most the men out there were not alone and single by choice. They were not attractive enough to have wives or girlfriends. The reason he had come out there to work was because it was all men and it was too far into the wilderness for any women to chase after him out there. Or that was what he and any sane man would have thought. Men consistently underestimate women. You boys would do well to keep that in mind all through your lives.


Before I get to the real heart of this story, there is another story I’m gonna tell. It isn’t dire to the second story but it does do an excellent job of setting up the circumstances. Now keep in mind we’re out in the middle of a forest and the only way to get to us is if you followed the swath we were cutting which would eventually have telephone poles and lines running through it. We’re making our way through the passes. It is hot. The hottest part of the day is made worse because it is muggy. The surrounding atmosphere had taken on that heavy feel you might recognize from time spent in a yard that had been allowed to become overgrown so that when it finally got mowed the air was heavy with its scent. For lack of a better way to put it. The atmosphere is heavier than it just all being scent but that is the easiest way described so that you understand the point trying to be made. Bottom line is the going was miserable. Hot. Itchy. Sometimes in the hottest of the day it would be literally hard to get your breath.


How many days, maybe weeks did it take her and the guides to make their way up to where we were at? There were no cross roads that we skipped over and picked up on the other side. It was nothing but forest and they had to start after us from the spot where we started cutting. It was a long, long way back.


They had been out there on the crew since July. It was a collection of sweaty, stinky men doing man stuff. Believe it or not along toward the end of July one day a woman showed up looking for Jeb. She had hired two guides who took her along the cut-swath and they eventually caught up with us. Grandfather said the woman and Jeb, which is what he went by, side note: there were a lot of men out there working who were using names that were not there own, and Jeb might well have been one of them. Anyway Grandfather said they were not close enough to hear the whole conversation but they did over hear enough to know that the woman had begged him for some intimate time together to which he was adamant that wasn’t going to happen. When she was insistent he went into the details of why such a request was impossible! Then finally, in order to get her to leave he ended up promising he would contact her as soon as his time on the crew was finished. She was embarrasingly forward the time she was within our earshot so we figured she must have been really, really forward when they talked alone. Still he stuck to his guns to nearly every man’s disbelief!


The two guides practically had to drag her off. They left the area with her calling for him over her shoulder. She promised things that I gurantee you there are men who still to this day, think of her and the things she said as they slowly went out of earshot. After she had left the men looked at Jeb like he was a riddle they knew they should be able to provide the answer yet at the same time could not begin to fathom what he was thinking? Still whatever his reasons none took away the fact that he had such an influence on such a pretty girl, as to motivate her to come out in the middle of nowhere, and who knows how long it took her to get there? To throw herself at a man so unselfishly and embarassingly. It was unheard of; which elevated Jeb to legendary status. Even more so because he did not relish the attention.


Now that brief story was told so you would perhaps better understand the effect this man had on females. As it would turn out it worked on more than just our species. Jeb was a blessed man with a body that was naturally something Michelangelo would have paid to have sculpted. He was six foot four inches. Had long, curly dirty blonde hair, an easy smile and eyes that were a deep brown which when combined with his easy, quiet, confident manner made everything he said seem like it had to be the truth. Which Grandfather said was easily convenient since as far as he ever knew; always was the truth.


He was probably under twenty-one, but even so he had a leadership quality about him that combined with his unfailing confidence (and why wouldn’t you be? I mean if you had always had every female you encountered throw everything to the wind in order to hopefully gain your attention) just made him someone who stood out. It didn’t matter he was one of the youngest out there, the men still looked to him, the older ones not so much for advice but … well it might sound stupid, especially to the women folk, and I say this speaking as one of those who fell into this category, … we sorta hoped that maybe a little bit of him would rub off on us. I mean the guy just had an unbelievable effect on women.


Plus it was the way he took it all in stride. Maybe not the way he was out there basically hiding from … his gift. More the way he just accepted that such was the way of life; and he saw nothing special of it nor had much of a clue what sort of power he wielded. If any of us men had what he did, we’d have thought we had just won the biggest jackpot life ever handed out.


Of course, that was before he got taken. Even if he never fully recovered however, I doubt he was too horribly done in the end because even if he had lost all that confidence and never was able to regain the ability to speak right again, he would always have those outstanding looks to get him by.
It was at that point one of us asked about what he meant by taken?


Grandfather responded by leaning in and dropping his voice down an octave stating that this story had a strong sexual side to it, and for that reason is why he had never brought it up before now: even though it happened many years ago. He said that telling the story in a manner which was fit for both sexes to hear, would diminish the matter to such that it would be equivalent to telling the story of Samson while leaving out the part about how he ended up getting his hair cut.


You boys are old enough to hear about this now. There’s no real lesson to be learned from this story. I don’t expect it will ever be something you will ever have to worry about. It is however an interesting story. It is even more interesting if you consider what the results were, or I mean …might have been.” He sat back and smiled at us and continued. “Next time you boys are looking in the mirror cursing your average looks you remember how even the best of circumstances can have unexpected and most definitely unpleasant results.


Grandfather went on to drive home to us how good-looking Jeb was to the opposite sex. That the woman whom had paid the guides to take her out there, was a beautiful, beautiful woman! There wasn’t a man on that crew that wouldn’t have married that girl right there on the spot and they’d have done it without any reservations or regrets. She was one fine looking young lady! He sent her on her way without a second thought.


I won’t lie there were a few guys who wondered about which way Jeb swung, but he wasn’t like that because it was obvious that young woman had spent time with him under the sheets in the past. So anyways Grandfather really drove home the fact that this Jeb was just every woman’s dream husband. Or as they would discover later, there were some who would be happy to settle for less than matrimony.


Grandfather said much later on, after everything, it was discussed and concluded that things started about ten days before Jeb came up missing. None of us knew at the time but I would know it again if I ever encountered it. It was an odor. A stench which was as we later decided, perhaps even more offensive to us because of the fact, but as horribly terrible, and I do mean terrible, as this odor was: it had a hint of attraction to it. That’s not really the best way to describe it but it is the fastest way to convey the point I am trying to make about this horrible odor. One of the men said it was likely a bear or some version of deer was in heat and nearby.


We encountered that horrible odor every day until the day after Jeb come up missing. That was the first day we stopped smelling it. Now I know what you boys are thinking, and you’re right. But it gets a lot worse than you’re thinking.


We worked day in, day out. Each day was really no different than the next until we encountered that horrible odor. Even after the odor things were no different. It wasn’t like we had changed up our every day routine just because things started to stink! As I mentioned this was the last part of the summer so it was common for the boys to hit the nearest water and cool off after work ended. Normally there were several men down at the spot where everybody was swimming, that day, was different.


It was Jeb’s birthday so the boss gave him a couple hours off at the end of the work shift so he could hit the water and have some time alone to enjoy it before the rest of the men got there and muddied everything up. So Jeb left the crew early and headed for the water. When you have just finished a day long shift in the heat of the sun it can cause a person to be in what I would term as a caccoon. You have tunnel vision and anything you can hear sounds like it had to go through a couple of panes of thick glass before reaching your ears. Jeb was likely in such a state when he arrived at the water. That would be the last time we would see him for several days.


This is how he told the story that happened to him after he left us. Jeb hurried down to the stream where they would all eventually be swimming. He stripped down and dove in and was just coming up from his first time from under water when as he came up something grabbed him and he was helpless to get away. He felt a huge hand place itself over his head and he was controlled from then on.


It didn’t take any time to figure out he had been grabbed by an ape which had a size unlike he knew existed! He said he strugged to get away. He was naked and pinned against her side as she carried him with one arm through the forest. They went for several miles and finally came to a cave which she forced him to go inside. Next she took some small trees, some of which still had their roots attached, and placed them strategically across the front of the cave so he could not get out. Plus she discouraged his attempts with a swat which was strong enough to break bones if he wasn’t fast enough to get his hands back inside the cave.


She disappeared that night but returned early the next morning. By then Jeb said he was extremely thirsty because he had spent the hours previous yelling for help! None came and he assumed they had went too far for anyone in the crew to hear his cries. When she returned she held herself funny. Jeb would soon find out why?


He said she moved the trees and came into the cave with him. He was as mentioned completely naked, and extremely thirsty. He was shocked to discover she had brought water nestled between her breasts which she let him drink. On a side note I wonder if they carry water to their young in such a manner? They would have to get them water somehow. Until they were big enough to go out and drink from a stream for themselves I guess they would need a way to get water to their young.


Then Grandfather leaned in again and said in that ultra-low voice, “She had a way of making the water run down to her nipple. She had him drink it that way.” He shifted uneasily in his seat. “It gets worse. A lot worse. Anybody who wants out now is the time.”


Which of course none of us were leaving. He continued. “Jeb said she was very gentle. As he was drinking she let go that odor we had all been smelling the last week or two. He said he no longer had to wonder about it. He knew what had made the odor and what it meant! She straddled the naked man but he was unable to perform as he had no desire to be anywhere near her. That horrible, musky odor didn’t help either. However he said much like with any bad odor, he eventually became somewhat able to endure it.


He wanted nothing more than to get away! Still her overwhelming strength required he stay put. Next she moved to a position where if she exhaled sharply it caused his genitals to lift upwards. She did this continually so that it was never allowed to hang, thus being caught by a puff of air … until his body responded. She got back into the straddle position and stayed that way until his body could not withstand her feminine ways. His words, not mine!: said the man who was telling grandfather. And then when they were finished she licked his face lightly and she started to leave the cave. Was he was free to go?


Now before you start in telling me I didn’t need to involve so much detail I will tell you what was said to me. You would have thought about this story many more hours than need be, if you just heard how it actually went instead of trying to picture the many different scenarios which were possible. So you’ve been saved the wasted hours while having your curiosity satisfied. Don’t sit there and tell me it should have went otherwise!


He said he will never know if she planned on keeping him there in the cave? Or if she planned on letting him go? Or if she planned on blocking him in the cave but with no plans to return to let him out. The reason he didn’t know what she planned on doing with him was because they were interrupted.
Think about it for a minute. You folks tell me what you think could possibly happen to make such a scenario become worse? I mean if she wasn’t going to keep him a love slave. And she wasn’t going to kill him whether by leaving him locked in there or simply by her hand. What could possibly happen that could have made things worse for Jeb?


Well it sure wasn’t that he was being let go with a “go get’em pat on the butt. Remember I mentioned when they were being so intimate that she let go some sort of gland that filled the area with that awful scent? Well it didn’t go completely unnoticed!


An even bigger sasquatch roared outside the mouth of the cave. Jeb said he was more terrified than he had been and that was saying a lot. However it came to prove that the big beast waiting outside the cave entrance wasn’t waiting for him. When the female sass came out of the cave she was grabbed violently and then gone.


It was all over for Jeb just like that. At first he just ran. He doesn’t know if it was luck or if his mind was working somewhere in the background but he came to the place where he had been taken.


He was shivering and not making much sense when he was found. He walked the distance back to the camp following the stream from where he had originally been taken. His body was covered in mud and filth, he had scratches and was obviously in shock. It would be weeks before we heard the entire story which was passed onto us by our boss. Jeb was taken out that evening and never returned to the crew, not that we expected him.


It turned out he would have been better off facing the women back in the civilized world since none had ever gone to such extremes. Although I believe if that young lady that came out to see him would have had the chance … Well anyways that’s the story boys. You can now understand why I never wanted to tell the story while we were at the dinner table. Your grandmother would have my hide before I finished telling the first half of that story. If I was stupid enough to try and finish it she’d likely have me out there in the cave myself; before the day was done.


But wait! I’m not finished. I haven’t told you the weird part of this story yet! To which all of us who had started to get up from our seats, just plopped back down like we had started to get up to go pee and the game came back on suddenly and we noticed there was only forty-five seconds left to play. We could pee later!


This time grandfather motioned for us to lean in instead of it being the other way around. He on the other hand leanded back in his chair, away from us. He fished in his shirt pocket and produced one of his nasty smelling cigars and fired up one end. Then he took a long draw off it and after letting that horrible tobacco smoke exit his nearly ancient lungs, he said, “It took a couple or three years for the poles to get installed. Two more before the actual telephone line got installed. During that time there were several different crews that followed that swath we cut. Some put up the poles, others the line itself.


There was a rumor that went around. I’m sure it meant very little to almost everybody who happened to hear it. When it reached my boss’ ears however: well he wasn’t laughing. He was surprised, and he said a little disgusted, but he sure wasn’t laughing.


You’ve heard the story of Tarzan. What would you say if I told you that story was based not on a man who lived in Africa, but that it was written about a half-breed man who was a living, breathing Tarzan! This Tarzan grew up in the Green Mountain National Forest. That the apes which supposedly raised Tarzan, were not apes from Africa like the story goes. But instead the story was about an ape which exists here in North America. An ape which gave birth to a blond, curly-haired baby boy that looked like a man but that had the strength and stamina of an ape.


We called him on that. Tarzan was written long before the time grandfather was claiming this all happened. His reply to that was that he didn’t mean the story was written because of Jeb, only that it was written about him. Or rather, about his bast…


Grandfather! What would grandma say?


She’d tell you that if your grandfather said it happened, then it happened. And I am telling you it happened!


Well anyways about two or three years after we had finished our part of the project, while one of the crews that put in the poles was doing their thing. One of the men claimed to have seen a blond-haired little man running around without a stitch of clothes on his body. Said first he was swinging from one tree to another like a monkey. Then he dropped and hit the ground with a speed unlike any other man they’d ever seen handle themselves in such thick forest. A few leaps and bounds and he was up into the trees again and as fast as he had come into the picture he was gone.


The man said he called out to the little boy but when he noticed the man he dropped from his position in the tree and disappeared into the forest. A year after that one of the line crews reported seeing a teen-age boy running around out there without any clothes. Said he had blonde, curly hair and was built like a Greek god.


Nobody else in the crew saw him and the man who did see him never again laid eyes on him. Then two years later after a storm caused the line to go down while they were walking it to find the damage; one of the men saw the blond-haired naked boy, who by then was a man, at least of sorts. The damage repair crew all saw him before their time fixing the line was done.
By that point in time the phone company was starting to hire women because the war was taking all the men. Among the replacements for the damage repair crew was a woman. She was the only female out there. It probably comes as no surprise to hear she was a bit more like sandpaper than silk. As such she was well-known for not holding back even when it came to sexual things. After seeing the young naked man she told the rest of the crew if she could catch him she wouldn’t ever go back.


Apparently Jeb’s good looks were able to overcome the ape genes. At least in the looks department. Hard to believe I know! All the while not taking much away from the strength department. Sound like any Tarzan you might know? This guy should have had the TV series job. Although I personally really liked Ron Ely, the guy who did play Tarzan on tv. It was really cool the way each show started, he would run out on the end of that water falls and let go that blood-curdling call of the wild. All the animals would go into over drive. The antelopes would bolt in unison. The zebras would follow suit. Then we’d see a big crocodile slide into the murky water. Then the camera would flash back to Tarzan as he is finishing his call to the animal world.


This Tarzan never made much of an effort to keep himself from being seen but the same could not be said for the rest of his clan. That is, until the last week the damage repair team would be out in the deeper part of the woods. Shirley, the woman that had been mentioned earlier, caught sight of one of the apes. It was the Tarzan that ended up giving them away because he would do the same thing. After seeing him do it they all knew what to look for. It was just luck that Shirley spotted them first. It could just as easily been one of the men. They all knew what to expect.


Tarzan had a habbit of hugging trees. Then he would allow his upper body to lean out away from the tree he was hugging while he was looking at what was going on. At other times he would just hide behind the trees or his favorite thing was to find a tree with a fork in it and watch things from the position of resting his head in the fork of the tree. Once they became familiar with that tactic it was probably just a matter of time before one of them caught sight of one of the apes who were watching the proceedings.


Once Shirley caught sight she drifted over to the next guy and whispered. That went down the line and thus that last week the crew worked they spent a lot of their time watching the creatures who were watching them.
Aside from their size, everybody pretty much agreed the animals could have passed for mountain gorillas in Africa. That their faces were very similar in appearance.


One of the men in the crew happened upon a scene where Tarzan was talking to one of his apes although the beast was out of sight. They clearly had their own language. Grandfather said he often thought about it through the years. What an amazing story that boy could tell if they ever were able to teach him to be able to speak our language. Any language which could be translated. The man who over heard them said he couldn’t make heads or tails of what they were saying but that their language had a lot of “gerrs” in it. Or that was his take on things.


I can’t help wondering what Jeb would have thought about all this if he had been made aware? Tell us in the comments! What do you feel would have been the right thing to do? Tell Jeb about his son or let him continue with his life since ignorance is bliss?


Thanks once again for visiting.